A few weeks ago i decided to clean out the garage, in hopes of selling some stuff, as well as getting rid of other things.

But before i get into this story, i have to tell you a little about the garage situation. In keeping with the fucked up design scheme of the house i live in, the garage is behind the house, on the street that runs parallel to my street. So, you don't think this notation is important? Well, you will as i get more into my story.

I threw out more than i had expected, and ended up with a huge refrigerator shipping box full of junk. In addition, i also decided to trash an old computer chair and a behemoth 22" monitor which has seen better days, but i was saving "just in case". It was pouring outside at about 10:00 pm that night, and i dragged the huge shipping carton around the block so i could dispose of it in front of my house. On the way, it got soaked and started to fall apart and i had to retrace my steps to pick up the debris which i left along the way. I was however, not about to drag the computer chair and monitor that distance, so i decided to dump them in the pile of garbage at the house closest to my garage.

Just as i was finishing up, this decrepit old potato farmer of a man suddenly appeared, screaming at me in broken English and Portuguese. "Don' put'a your garbag' in front o' my a'house!" I tried to explain to him that the trash collectors would be here in a matter of hours, and my two items would be gone, but this fucktard wouldn't take no for an answer, and insisted that i remove the items, or he would "Call'a the cops". I could almost hear him screaming into the phone, and the police laughing their ass off, but i just wanted him to shut up and leave me alone, so i told the dude to chill and eventually moved the stuff to the front of my house.

I have to wonder though, how anal retentive types like this guy get by in life? Personally, i couldn't give a flying fuck if someone dumped something in front of my house for a few hours until Waste Management picked it up. In fact, i wish more people would do that, as i would probably find a lot of interesting things out there to talk about here! I am not sure if any of the readers of this blog, who were also former members of my now defunct message board, will remember the box of porn DVD's i once found on my lawn, which i sold for a rather hefty price on eBay.

Or the humongous statue of Jesus which mysteriously appeared one day, and is still sitting outside if only because the damn thing weighs about 600 pounds and i can't find anyone strong enough to get it up my stairs!

-X-