Tonight i saw a strange little French horror flick called "Sheitan". The title sounded deceptively Japanese to me, but hey, what do i know?

Now before you rush out and buy this flick on DVD, well, don't bother, but it is definitely worth one viewing from NetFlix or Blockbuster.

Yes, all the standard cliches that piss me off about American horror movies are in this one. A group of twenty something kids head out for a night of clubbing at the local disco, and end up taking off at closing time to a remote little village because one or two of the guys hope to get some cornpone country pussy from a girl who comes on to them in the club. Rule number one: If you are a dorky guy, and a cute farmer's daughter type in a flippy Paris Hilton skirt starts dirty dancing with you within minutes of your arriving at the club, be very suspicious, and run like hell back to your place in the city and jerk off in the safety of your bed. You will thank me for this advice later.

I don't want to say much more about the rest of the film in case you decide to see it. Let me just say that there are oodles of oddities in this film, including your standard French countryside inbred hicks, oddly grinning farmers and pitbulls who apparently have more lives than a cat, young girls who want sexual contact with complete strangers... and lots of it, unsuspecting canines being sexually molested by these same girls, a pregnant woman [at least i think it was supposed to be a woman] who is also a frustrated doll maker, a hot spring swimming hole in a dark cave, and a goat that looks like it would be Satan's most favorite pet. You see where this is all going, don't you? But trust me, you have never seen it quite like this before.

Yeah, it has more than a few unbelievable moments, but for some reason, the film is more tolerable. Maybe because there are no cheesy one-liners that always ruin American horror films. Maybe because there are a few genuinely funny and creepy scenes in this little sleeper. Maybe because the entire movie is in French [with subtitles], and foreign things have always appealed to me. Maybe because the house these kids end up in is at once beautiful and decaying, and if i had to be molested and brutally murdered, what better location could i think of? Maybe because there is an entire attic that is filled with old, creepy ass dolls and puppets that i fell in love with and want to own.

Either way, if by some chance you are in your local video store and happen to see this flick on display, pick it up and take it home for a night. And don't forget a bag of Pop Secret Extra Butter. And save the bag. If you are particularly wimpy, you may need it for the final scenes.

-X-

Anyone who knows me even half well knows that i not only love Winter. I live for it. It is my favorite time of year to batten down the hatches, brew up a pot of coffee or hot chocolate, and work in the studio continuously until the end of March.

But what is with this weather we are having so far this season?! The other day, it was in the 70's in NYC, which isn't too far from my location. Any day now i expect the Crocuses to pop their heads up through the cursed soil in my yard. Birds will begin building nests in my AC, and i can almost hear the splashing of neighborhood children in their little plastic swimming tubs.

And all i can think to myself is "I WANT SNOW, DAMN IT, AND LOTS OF IT!"

I want to walk outside with my old wooly scarf wrapped around my face, hearing the ice crunch underneath my funky boots.

I want to wake up, and hurry to get all my boring shit out of the way, so i can spend the night painting, only taking breaks to look at the snow falling outside my window, check my email, and maybe, pee.

After i am finished for the night, i want to curl up in bed under my old velvet patchwork quilt wearing my thermies, and watch movies until the sun comes up. And not wake up all gross and sweaty like i have been doing for the past few months.

If this keeps up, i am packing my bags and heading to Alaska.. land of Eskimos, Longshoremen, Serial Killers and Strange Little Artists who love most the season when everything dies.

-X-

I completely missed out on a lot of things, including the deaths of James Brown and Gerald R. Ford. RIP guys. :(

Now, back to my oblivion...

For the past two weeks i have been in excruciating oral pain. My 'regular' dentist was away for the holidays, and last week i ended up in the ER begging for something to take away the pain until i saw my dentist on Tuesday January 2. At the ER, i was told that i would need a Root Canal, and they gave me some Vicodin to tide me over, as well as an antibiotic for the infection.

Well, i saw my dentist yesterday, and was told that the tooth which is causing the most problem is actually the #32 Wisdom tooth, and that it is completely cracked in half and needs to be removed a.s.a.p. So, tomorrow i will be off to call an Oral Surgeon, whom i hope can get this damn thing out of my mouth in the next week if not sooner.

I also have a few teeth that need to be filled, but that will have to wait until after the Oral Surgery. Once the Wisdom tooth is gone, and the teeth are filled, i should be off the Vicodin and back to my usual, less drugged out self.

As you can imagine, i am not looking forward to the surgery. Anyone who knows me well knows that i HATE doctors and dentists, but i HATE surgery even more, and i avoid these things as much as possible.

I celebrated New Year's Eve with my pain meds, a Twilight Zone marathon and a shot of Jack Daniels at midnight. It doesn't get much better than that, right?!

-X-